Chapter 2 - Tom's Foolery

Tom and Genius left the great hall together, both a bit disappointed in their king. The retrieval of the lamp was now in the hands of the Genius and the Fool. This could not bode well for the success of the mission. In fact, the king’s statisticians had already calculated the chances of failure to be 99.9%. This figure had been passed down to the gambling houses and bets were being placed at a furious rate. The national lottery was being restructured to incorporate the Great Retrieval and T-shirts and caps had been printed with the lines ‘Sorry you won’t be around for Christmas’.

Every now and then brilliant ideas dawn upon people, sometimes slowly, sometimes like a flash of lightning. This did not happen to either Tom or Genius. Something else did strike them very suddenly and unpleasantly, though. They had no idea where to find YAP! The organisation was so secret that apparently no written record existed anywhere. The king had wanted it to be absolutely secret. Now it’s so secret that even its members did not know about their membership.

‘That’s it!’ thought Tom. He had just remembered that there was a front page article on YAP in a prominent newspaper. Now to remember which one. It wasn’t the Scapegoat – that had the article ‘Grue cracks another mirror - Telekinesis or plain ugliness?’. It couldn’t have been Blink’s Bugle – that featured the ‘Do you know how to complete a quiz?’ quiz. Yes! He’d got it! It was in the Daily Echo! ‘YAP to be Landscape’s secret – Member biographies and interviews’.

With renewed hope Tom and Genius set off for the offices of the Daily Echo newspaper. Blinkburg was abuzz with the news of the missing lamp and posters had been put up stating ‘Have you seen this lamp? Me neither’.

It was the full story they found some time later in the archive rooms of the Daily Echo. Ed, He Who Wished His Parents Had Called Him Bob, the editor, gave them permission to read the archives in exchange for a juicy story on the missing dog. The newspaper article really had it all. It gave full names and addresses of all the members of YAP.

After some intensive reading both Tom and Genius decided that only two names on the list could be useful. This they knew because the other names were obvious fabrications by the reporter. It didn’t take a genius, nor a fool, for that matter, to quickly realise that no-one by the name of James Bond could ever be a secret agent.

Tom and Genius therefore unerringly picked the two real names from the list. They were Dexter and Sinister, the two best agents in Landscape; the two only agents in Landscape.

To their disappointment Tom and Genius didn’t find Dexter or Sinister at home. They were neighbours and also close friends and it stood to reason that they would be found around Somewhere at Large.