Sunday, October 01, 2006

Chapter 3 - A Flying Start (4)

“Well, at least the flyer took us under his wing,” said Sinister darkly.

“Winged words,” mumbled Dexter. “Let’s just hope this flyer gets us into the air and stays up there.”

“Gentlemen, we’re cleared for take-off,” announced the flyer importantly.

“Wait! Wait!” cried Dexter. “There are no other passengers. Why can’t we sit on top?”

“Sorry, sir, it’s company policy. You’ve paid for Sub-Economy class seats and therefore that’s where you’ll sit. You luggage will be carried on top, however, because you are now occupying the space usually taken by the luggage,” replied the stewardess with a cool and efficient smile that defied arguing. “Passengers occupying the Sub-Economy class seats are requested not to smoke or sneeze, as this tickles the flyer’s tail feathers and may upset his already delicate mental state.”

The flyer cleared its throat.

“As I’ve said before, we’re cleared for take-off and will now try and do so.”

“Try? What does he mean ‘try’?” whispered Sinister urgently.

“Gentlemen, please! I need absolute silence before taking flight. This requires some skill and concentration and lots of luck. Please extinguish all forms of chatter, negative remarks and criticism. My therapist expressly forbade me to come into contact with people who criticised me.”

With this, the flyer started running down the runway, flapping its wings furiously. At last it lifted from the ground, only to crash down again. Not put off, it started running again, flapping its wings even more furiously than before. By this time Dexter and Sinister had their eyes tightly shut and were hanging on for dear life.

After a while, once the worst jostling had stopped, Sinister managed to open one eye, just to close it tightly again.”

“Dex! Don’t look now but we’re in the air – very high up in the air!”

Dexter opened his eyes and looked. He closed his eyes again. He had just discovered that he had a fear of heights and this was a height.

“Could you fly a bit less bumpily?” he asked in a quivering voice.

“What’s that?” shouted the stork.

“I said, could you try to smooth out your flying a bit!” shouted Dexter and even opened his eyes. Then he shut them even more tightly than before. He had just seen a very disconcerting sight. The flyer also had his eyes closed!

“Open you eyes! Open your eyes!” he shouted to the flyer.

“No! No! I couldn’t! We’re hitting air pockets and I’m nauseous and I want to go home and I’m afraid of heights! Oh no! We’re going to die! We’re all going to die!”

“Feather-brain,” murmured Dexter and shut himself off by closing his eyes. He was beyond the point of panicking and Sinister seemed to have retreated into a world of his own, only occasionally muttering ‘Told you so.’

“Oh no! I’m flying into a rage!” shouted the flyer.

“No! No!” shouted Dexter, afraid of having upset the flyer even more. “I’m not angry! Just a little bit upset, that’s all!”

“No! I said we’re flying into a rage! Look ahead of us!”

Dexter looked. Right in front of them was a fast-approaching whirlwind. It was brown with dust and looked particularly unhappy about their crossing his path. Rages have been known to be the worst enemy of the flyer and this one seemed to epitomize this fact very clearly. Strangely enough however, rages were also known as the sirens of the skies. They had the uncanny ability to seduce female passengers and airhostesses who would invariably go off with them after the rages had caused an air disaster.

This rage was clearly intent on causing an air disaster. Within seconds they were caught up by the whirlwind. It spun and whirled and flung them around and, having determined them all to be male, the rage left them hanging there in the air, while happily making off with the airhostess.

Hanging, without utilizing some form of support, invariably leads to falling.

Thus they plummeted to the ground.

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