Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Chapter 5 - The Town of Distant Relevance

By the early afternoon the ship with its two “superhuman creatures” reached the port of the Town of Distant Relevance. The harbour was a scene of complete and utter chaos and bewilderment. It seemed as if no-one knew what they were supposed to be doing or where they were supposed to be going. Sailors bumped into traders and merchants who milled around confusedly. One wagon driver had seemingly given up and sat dejectedly in the middle of the street. Sinister glanced at Dexter to see if the chaos around him had any effect on him but was disappointed to see that he was still wrapped up in his remorse-stricken world. Dexter wasn’t getting any better, thought Sinister. He needed help.

Sinister had exhorted all the silver he could from the panic-stricken crew of the ship who were only too glad to get rid of the “gods of the sea”. Once back on firm land they had started making their way through the confused hustle of the harbour. They needed to find a healer as soon as possible, realised Sinister, and the best place to find information is the nearest pub.

They were soon seated at a corner table in The Relevant Pub, each with a foaming mug of Disgusting Liquid in front of them. They had never tasted Disgusting Liquid before and Sinister had thought that the attractive streaks of purple in the greenish jelly-like liquid appeared to be quite tasty.

He was wrong. The attractive purple streaks tasted particularly foul, only outclassed by the disgusting smell emanating from the greenish goo that trickled down one’s throat and landed with a sick thud in the stomach where it emitted a loud shriek of delight while it knotted the bowels into purplish bowties that Genie would have found disconcertingly familiar.

Dexter had taken a straw with his and seemed to enjoy the agony that the Disgusting Liquid delivered, taking it as his just deserts. Sinister, however, invited a scruffy-looking sailor over to their table and handed him his Disgusting Liquid. The sailor sat down and started gulping the fluid eagerly. Perhaps the people in this town are raised on Disgusting Liquid, Sinister thought.

“So, any healers in this town, then?” asked Sinister nonchalantly.

“Wha?” stuttered the sailor. “That’s a relevant question, mate. We’re not allowed to be relevant in this town. Ain’t you seen the rules?”

Sinister was taken aback. He hadn’t realised that the name of the town was so applicable. He recovered quickly.

“But if my question is relevant and you’re not allowed to be relevant, then my question is not relevant to you and then you can answer it, can’t you?”

The sailor sat back, took a sip of Disgusting Liquid, pondered a while, his brows crinkled in concentration.

“Well, now,“ he said with delight. “I do believe you’re absolutely right! Relevant questions are not relevant to me and therefore I CAN answer them! You’ll find the best healer at Hucklenose’s House of Healing. Two streets up, turn left, funny building, can’t miss it.”

Sinister tossed some money on the table and they quickly left the pub, Dexter having taken an additional Disgusting Liquid in a Sealo-Fluid container.

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